Diary of a
By Ayesha Sandra Lee
Well, I'm
back. Back from where? From about one hundred weddings and, though I jorunalled, not a word has been shared beyond my scribbles
on paper. Most often, I write about a wedding right after it's over. Some
weddings are like epic adventures that I find my self transcribing long before the
wedding day.
During
the one hundred plus weddings, I was also moving my home and office. Somehow, I
managed to never show up at a wedding in overalls, toting packing tape and
carrying boxes. But, I didn't manage to get my wedding adventures out on the
World Wide Web.
Today, I
would like to talk about people who find their true loves through matchmaking
services, usually on the internet. It's been a revelation. When I started Merry
Maui Weddings, early in the millennium, no one would admit that they met
through a matchmaking service. I know, because I usually ask couples how they
met. I always find their answers fascinating, not just the stories themselves,
but the expressions on their faces as they recount their experiences.
A few
years ago, the occasional couple, with shy, downcast looks and red faces, would
admit that they had met on the internet. They would exchange embarrassed
expressions, as they looked at me to read my response. I always congratulated
them, wholeheartedly.
When I
was a child, infused with romantic fantasies (as in unrealities), I had thought
matchmaking unromantic. But, now, having experienced the painful inadequacy of
surface attraction to sustain many marriages, I have become an advocate, and so
have many others.
Matchmaking,
I have learned, is as old as marriage, itself. It used to be the dominion of
wise elders, who knew everyone in the village. Or perhaps, seers with special
psychic abilities to perceive who would be right for whom,
would take on the job. (For an example of that type, see the entertaining
movie, “The Matchmaker.”)
Nowadays,
most people use services, such as eHarmony.com or match.com. They fill out
extensive profiles of their selves, and the computer, assisted by
professionals, does the matching. It seems to me they do a great job. For now,
about 1 in 4 couples proudly proclaim that this is how they met. Internet
matchmaking seems to have become extremely acceptable in just two to three
years.
What I
notice is that these couples are nearly always really happy, comfortable and
confident in their relationship. They don’t seem to be as prone to last minute
doubts or hysteria as couples who met conventionally. I will not even attempt
to understand how this is true.
I am not
knocking love at first sight (that’s how I met my husband and it has worked out,
wonderfully). I do see now that taking the time to decide what you want in
love, putting it out there consciously and expecting to receive it leads to
another kind of miracle. I see that matchmaking makes people radiantly happy
and brings us lots of wedding business.
Until next time, Ayesha.
Where does love come from?
Not the heart or mind,
But the indwelling divine.
To view past journal
entries, click here.
© 2007 Ayesha Sandra Lee – On Doves’
Wings “Merry