Well, I’m back. Back from where? From about one hundred Merry Maui Weddings and, though I jorunalled, not a word has been shared beyond my scribbles on paper. Most often, I write about a wedding right after it’s over. Some weddings are like epic adventures that I find my self transcribing long before the wedding day.

During the one hundred plus weddings, I was also moving my home and office. Somehow, I managed to never show up at a wedding in overalls, toting packing tape and carrying boxes. But, I didn’t manage to get my wedding adventures out on the World Wide Web. 

Today, I would like to talk about people who find their true loves through matchmaking services, usually on the internet. It’s been a revelation. When I started Merry Maui Weddings, early in the millennium, no one would admit that they met through a matchmaking service. I know, because I usually ask couples how they met. I always find their answers fascinating, not just the stories themselves, but the expressions on their faces as they recount their experiences.

A few years ago, the occasional couple, with shy, downcast looks and red faces, would admit that they had met on the internet. They would exchange embarrassed expressions, as they looked at me to read my response. I always congratulated them, wholeheartedly. 

When I was a child, infused with romantic fantasies (as in unrealities), I had thought matchmaking unromantic. But, now, having experienced the painful inadequacy of surface attraction to sustain many marriages, I have become an advocate, and so have many others.

Matchmaking, I have learned, is as old as marriage, itself. It used to be the dominion of wise elders, who knew everyone in the village. Or perhaps, seers with special psychic abilities to perceive who would be right for whom, would take on the job. (For an example of that type, see the entertaining movie, “The Matchmaker.”) 

Nowadays, most people use services, such as eHarmony.com or match.com. They fill out extensive profiles of their selves, and the computer, assisted by professionals, does the matching. It seems to me they do a great job. For now, about 1 in 4 couples proudly proclaim that this is how they met. Internet matchmaking seems to have become extremely acceptable in just two to three years.

What I notice is that these couples are nearly always really happy, comfortable and confident in their relationship. They don’t seem to be as prone to last minute doubts or hysteria as couples who met conventionally. I will not even attempt to understand how this is true.

I am not knocking love at first sight (that’s how I met my husband and it has worked out, wonderfully). I do see now that taking the time to decide what you want in love, putting it out there consciously and expecting to receive it leads to another kind of miracle. I see that matchmaking makes people radiantly happy and brings us lots of wedding business. Until next time, Ayesha.

Where does love come from?
Not the heart or mind,
But the indwelling divine.

Yoki & Jeremy’s March 2006 Maui wedding was a true multicultural celebration. It was also a real challenge for us, as wedding planners, and ended with a shocking, unplanned (by us, anyway) finale.

Yoki and Jeremy met while he was attending school in Japan. Their relationship had the opportunity to grow, when he procured a job as an English instructor. Despite many cultural differences, this young Japanese woman and California student fell deeply in love.

Jeremy was expected, by Japanese tradition, to ask her family for permission to seriously date her. He complied, but mixed up his idioms and ended up asking permission to: (a rude word for intimate relations). Somehow, he received permission anyway, after the misunderstanding was cleared up.

After three years of serious courtship, sometimes interrupted by Jeremy’s trips back home to the U.S., the couple realized that they were made for each other. They selected Maui for their wedding because it is nearly equidistant from California and Japan. Also, they love Maui and, finally, Jeremy’s family includes us – the owners of Merry Maui Weddings.

This wedding was our biggest challenge to date for two reasons. Yoki’s traditional Japanese family and Jeremy’s casual, eclectic California/Hawaiian families were very, very different. And, this was our first wedding for our own family.

As you might know, pleasing family can be a lot more difficult than pleasing unrelated clients. Blessedly, the wedding was beautiful and close to perfect as such an event could be. It was held on a beautiful coconut palm studded lawn next to a South Maui beach, and in front of a condo complex in Kihei, where many of the off-island guests stayed.

The flowers, arch and wedding attire were traditionally western in style. The bride wore a dazzling neo-Victorian dress and veil and the groom a handsome white tuxedo. The bridesmaids and groomsmen were also beautiful, attired in the wedding colors, pink and white. The grooms’ family was dressed in their “Sunday best,” or dress Aloha wear. The bride’s family were easy to identify as they wore a matching Japanese print.

The wedding ceremony, performed by myself, was customized by the bride and groom to reflect their own beliefs. It was touching and often hilarious (as they are). I have never witnessed so much laughter at a wedding before! After the wedding kiss, in true Hawaiian style, my sons performed the Hawaiian Wedding Song and I danced the hula.

The pink and white reception featuring Hawaiian luau-style food was appreciated by all. Everyone was pleased and commenting at how smoothly and beautifully the wedding/reception had gone when something unexpected happened. Suddenly, Yoki’s father and uncle picked Yoki up and threw her, fully attired in veil, gown and heels, over a tall fence and into the swimming pool! Family and friends were aghast and there is still speculation as to the meaning of this act.

Fortunately, Yoki cleared the cement and survived this wedding surprise with grace and humor and everyone enjoyed the rest of the evening. I do wish the bride’s family had chosen a less shocking way to show their love, such as the father dancing with his daughter or the uncle tying some cans to the groom’s car. But, I suppose we must respect cultural differences. All in all, it was a Merry Maui Wedding.