First of all, a disclaimer: I am very fond of all of our Maui brides and grooms and their families and friends that we have worked with, no matter what they did. With that said, I go on:
What is the Job of the Bridesmaid? Webster’s New Explorer defines a bridesmaid as “a woman who attends a bride at her wedding.” “Attends” suggests helpfulness and quiet support. She knows the wedding is all about the bride and groom, not her!
Prevalent in our culture, right now, we see another image of a bridesmaid, however. In recent movies and novels, bridesmaids are often competitive, sex crazed, drunken medusas whose main job is to upstage the bride and disrupt the wedding.
Well, that’s just fiction, you might say, and, in truth, most bridesmaids I have seen are kind, dignified, helpful and deeply caring of the bride and the success of her wedding. It’s the OTHER bridesmaids I address, here. Unfortunately, the bridesmaid behaving badly doesn’t inhabit fiction only. Some are real.
I have seen bridesmaids who seem determined to receive all the attention, at a wedding, by being more demanding, louder, and more provocatively attired than her fellow bridesmaids, or the bride. I heard a bridesmaid actually once say, “there’s now way I’m going to let her (the bride) look better than me.”
They argue about all aspects of the wedding, trying to assert their own will over even the bride’s and groom’s. They come too early and try to order the wedding professionals and family members around. They throw hissy fits when they don’t get their way. Or, they come late, and often drunk, so that their hair was perfect, or they are happily sloshed, therefore delaying or interrupting the wedding. This is bad.
One bridesmaid insisted on sobbing loudly throughout the entire wedding, so that the bride and groom and minister could barely be heard. She made herself the focus of the attention. Another bride disrupted and delayed the wedding by threatening loudly and vociferously to “throw the wedding flowers and cake in the garbage can and vomit on them,” because she felt they didn’t match HER dress properly. I’m not making this stuff up.
So, come on, bridesmaids, please behave yourselves. Support the bride, don’t compete with her. Don’t try to control the wedding or entice the groom. Your day is coming and you will want well behaved bridesmaids. And, just because you’re on Maui is not an excuse to be bad!