Some days, I easily feel blessed. Others, I am just trying to manage the stress. A wedding planner’s life is not just smiles and roses – even on Maui!
We had a large Maui beach wedding scheduled. Any outdoor wedding with a number of guests holds many possibilities for things to go wrong. So, our staff had prepared all the details as carefully as possible.
Still, things went wrong. The weather was misbehaving: Strong gusts of wind scattered the flower circle and blew the toasting flutes and table into the sand. Dark clouds gathered on the horizon, blocking the Maui sun and threatened no sunset and early darkness. Members of the wedding party were missing. Finally, ten minutes after the wedding was supposed to start, all the guests and wedding party were located and in place.
The photographer, videographer and musicians were poised for the processional. There was one BIG problem – no bride!! We were told by the limo driver via cellphone that she did not want to come out of the limousine, although her father and bridal party were standing outside, waiting for her. Neither did she wish to speak with anyone. The stress of the moment was, apparently, overwhelming. Family members went to check. The minister and various guests began to look anxious and everyone began to ask what’s wrong. No news came and more and more people wandered away, though urged to stay. I tried to appear calm and confident, but, inside, I was wondering if we were even going to have a wedding. As I tried to reassemble the guests, my walkie-talkie squawked the welcome words, “The bride is coming!” Everyone slipped back into place. The sweet flowergirl and beautiful bridesmaids began the processional. Finally, the bride appeared at the top of the hill. All of a sudden, the winds stopped and the clouds parted. Golden shimmering light cast its beams on the young bride dressed in white satin and rhinestones that were set ablaze by the sun’s rays.
Everyone stood to gaze upon this beautiful apparition. The smiling, radiant bride was led to her beaming groom. The wedding proceeded flawlessly, and the light held out, beautifully.
I performed my sacred hula to the Hawaiian Wedding Song, played by my handsome sons, as the Maui sky turned pink and green and orange. The wedding toast, in front of the awesome Maui sunset looked like the happy ending of a fairytale. Everyone was radiant with happiness. I felt very lucky and amazingly blessed.
When the Light of Peace and Love
Overcomes our fears
Well, I’m back. Back from where? From about one hundred Merry Maui Weddings and, though I jorunalled, not a word has been shared beyond my scribbles on paper. Most often, I write about a wedding right after it’s over. Some weddings are like epic adventures that I find my self transcribing long before the wedding day.
During the one hundred plus weddings, I was also moving my home and office. Somehow, I managed to never show up at a wedding in overalls, toting packing tape and carrying boxes. But, I didn’t manage to get my wedding adventures out on the World Wide Web.
Today, I would like to talk about people who find their true loves through matchmaking services, usually on the internet. It’s been a revelation. When I started Merry Maui Weddings, early in the millennium, no one would admit that they met through a matchmaking service. I know, because I usually ask couples how they met. I always find their answers fascinating, not just the stories themselves, but the expressions on their faces as they recount their experiences.
A few years ago, the occasional couple, with shy, downcast looks and red faces, would admit that they had met on the internet. They would exchange embarrassed expressions, as they looked at me to read my response. I always congratulated them, wholeheartedly.
When I was a child, infused with romantic fantasies (as in unrealities), I had thought matchmaking unromantic. But, now, having experienced the painful inadequacy of surface attraction to sustain many marriages, I have become an advocate, and so have many others.
Matchmaking, I have learned, is as old as marriage, itself. It used to be the dominion of wise elders, who knew everyone in the village. Or perhaps, seers with special psychic abilities to perceive who would be right for whom, would take on the job. (For an example of that type, see the entertaining movie, “The Matchmaker.”)
Nowadays, most people use services, such as eHarmony.com or match.com. They fill out extensive profiles of their selves, and the computer, assisted by professionals, does the matching. It seems to me they do a great job. For now, about 1 in 4 couples proudly proclaim that this is how they met. Internet matchmaking seems to have become extremely acceptable in just two to three years.
What I notice is that these couples are nearly always really happy, comfortable and confident in their relationship. They don’t seem to be as prone to last minute doubts or hysteria as couples who met conventionally. I will not even attempt to understand how this is true.
I am not knocking love at first sight (that’s how I met my husband and it has worked out, wonderfully). I do see now that taking the time to decide what you want in love, putting it out there consciously and expecting to receive it leads to another kind of miracle. I see that matchmaking makes people radiantly happy and brings us lots of wedding business. Until next time, Ayesha.
Where does love come from?
Not the heart or mind,
But the indwelling divine.